|
I came into being
as the genetic combination of a Jewish mother and a German father. My
parents were both studying art and met at the easel. The dynamism of
the postwar Jewish-German mixture created the possibility of both tension
and the union of opposites. This was the beginning of the pattern of
my life as an artist. My mother was an art teacher, my father a highly
spiritual man, venturing into meditation and Eastern religion. Our home
was constantly filled with unusual and deeply sensitive people, Sufi
Master Pir Inayat Khan, actor Gig Young, transcendental painter Emil
Bistram, health guru Gypsy Boots. Art and books were everywhere in our
home. It was impossible for me to appreciate at the time the open and
creative environment in which I had been born.
Next among my seminal influences was travel. Travel has filled my palette
with colors, my mind with images. It has shown me the broad diversity
of places and people, as well as the subtle inner unity. In South Africa,
I visited the immense game preserves and the vastness of the wild African
plain. I stood in the presence of lions and felt their overwhelming
power and majesty. While I collected multicolored shells, flocks of
pink flamingos flew overhead. Throughout Africa and the Middle East,
I saw snake charmers, shamans and fakirs. Guatemala, El Salvador, Mexico
and other tropical venues filled me with intense hues and a deep respect
for the dignity of native peoples for their beauty and their strength.
The works of the great masters of Europe filled me with reverence and
awe. The wonder of traveling through Europe along the Mediterranean
to Italy or Mallorca, and visiting the Austrian Alps in Saint Johann
are beauty my soul always remembers. The South Pacific, Samoa, Tahiti,
and Fiji were places I walked for miles on tropical reefs alive with
fish, turtles, and dolphin. The fern forests of New Zealand taught me
a thousand variations of green I have never imagined, much less seen.
In Australia, caught in a storm of inconceivable fury, we were forced
to stay indoors for days. In Malaysia and Indonesia there were miles
of terraced hills planted with rice. The deeply spiritual people of
Bali also expressed a vital creativity, the arts of wood carving and
silversmithing being passed down from generation to generation. Hong
Kong and Singapore were charged with excitement and intrigue. The incredible
rituals and sacred history of Nepal and India where Hindus and Buddhists
walk side by side chanting OM NAMA SHIVAYA or OM MANI PADME HUM in the
ancient temples changed me forever. Finally, the colorful memories of
nearly forty trips to Hawaii were most instrumental in my growth toward
the artist I was to become. The tropical plants and birds, the ocean,
and the people still beckon me. These times and adventures, were times
of ritual and deep purpose. It was an epoch of exploring, experiencing,
and freely living life to the fullest. I was alive, awake, sexual, in
tune with Nature, and vigorously healthy. I see now that being aligned
with your soul creates vitality and ecstasy. The role of this vitality,
as well as the inventory of sights, sounds, tastes, feelings, and ideas
is as clear as it manifests in my artistic vision.
|
|
In my soul's journey, travel initiated a rite of passage, all part of
the path that led me inexorably to my life as an artist. As we all must
pass through the stages of development, I see my own period of travel
as one that broadened my vision and prepared me for the life to come.
In the next stage of my life came marriage, children, and a successful
business career. After failing in love and being married, I opened a
surf shop. With my dedication, the small shop grew to a corporation
grossing over a million dollars per year. Eventually, the store was
nominated for a Marty Award, a prestigious award for retailers. I was
deeply honored even to be nominated, which meant that the store was
one of the most influential retailers in the Western United States.
When we won, I was genuinely shocked. I realize now that this honor
was the pinnacle of my life as a surfing businessman. It truly was the
beginning of the end and signaled the conclusion of that phase of my
life. I was about to enter the mystery of transformation. Soon thereafter,
I was picking up one of my sons at his painting class, and I asked the
teacher if she gave lessons to adults. She said, "Yes". and
I immediately began to paint. Years earlier, I had taken lessons from
Gloria Joy, a transformational painter, although I really never made
a full commitment. I was just thirty-seven. I began painting three hours
a week with a hilarious bunch of wonderful, elderly ladies. It soon
extended to two classes and six hours per week. Within a year, I was
painting three days a week, and I began to genuinely be involved in
learning to paint. By the second year, I was semiretired from my business
and was actively studying with several very famous artists. I was dreaming
of being one of those plein-air painters, such as Gaugin, Van Gogh or
O'Keeffe. I was falling in love again with Nature, color, the outdoors,
and deep inside there was a growing fire of creative expression that
was crying out to be expressed through painting. As this process deepened,
my paintings began to transform into the
expression of this creative passion that was welling up from my unconscious.
I was now painting my visions and dreams, and right before my eyes,
the whole nature of my work and life was transforming. My art was pulling
me into the exploration of deeper dimensions and the beginnings of the
experience and expression of the soul. A new voice had come into being,
and I merely began listening and responding to this growing call of
the unconscious. Little did I understand, and never would I have guessed,
that this voice that had come into my awareness would change, expand,
and transform my entire life. As I now understand this process, this
was the turning point, where I was called into service by my soul, to
contribute to life and meet my destiny. This voice would also carry
me into a deep exploration of the unconscious, connect me with my ancestors,
and radically shift my life. The creative spirit began teaching me the
language of the soul. As I continued to study my visions and dreams,
my artwork began to transform. One form of expression that came into
being was very large and voluptuous flower paintings. Through the long
body, I now see that these paintings forecast the end of my marriage.
My increasing sexuality erupted into the paintings and I found myself
moving away from my relationship. I was painting life-size. My growing,
almost exploding, feelings were bursting into existence in these large
and wildly sexual paintings. What I have come to know is that my art,
all art, is a litmus test of the soul. From the ego-mind level, paintings
and art are beautiful and moving. From the perspective of the soul,
or the mind's eye, paintings reveal the energy currents and symbols
of the painter's unconscious, and in many cases, the collective unconscious.
I
use the word unconscious to mean that which we carry intrinsically as
human beings, but do not know consciously. Therefore, the unconscious
is limitless, vast and a life long journey of exploration. The amazing
thing about the unconscious is that it is known by few here in the West.
Once you have discovered your unconscious, it is the beginning of the
great journey of soul alignment and development. Through this work of
exploring the soul, I have realized the essence of measuring the soul:
the range of feelings and the sense of presence you carry. Paintings
contain the intrinsic soul quality of the artist and intrinsic patterns
of our collective intelligence. This is why art has such great value.
It reveals that which cannot be said and it makes visible the invisible.
From the soul's perspective, all paintings are alive, breathing, pulsating,
dancing, glowing, carrying the forces of the unconscious.
In addition
to the sexual flower paintings, the inner voice was directing me to
explore the painting of my dreams. This move me into the exploration
of the deeper mysteries of the unconscious. As I look back into this
evolution, I can now see the soul was speaking through all the paintings.
I had no idea of its voice at the time in my development. Yet, the mysteries
of the unconscious, as Carl Jung correctly named it, were being revealed
in my paintings. My work began to take on a new level of energy. As
my life rapidly changed, I became conscious and aware of my own soul
expressing a major influence on my life as a painter. I have studied
with various spiritual teachers. One of significance has been a 24 year
relationship with Brugh Joy, the renowned teacher and metaphysician.
I remember arriving a day early for one of his workshops. He explained
that he anticipated this was to be a most creative group. Among the
participants were Barbara Streisand and Carrie Fischer. It was an inspiration
for me to be surrounded with such charismatic and powerful women. During
this workshop, I brought my paints and canvases. Through some mysterious
circumstances, I painted my first mandala.
The mandala is an ancient pattern that has a specific center, and concentric
rings that emanate from that center. Brugh Joy has stated that the mandala
is another eye of God or Goddess. It is the mystery of the totality
that moves outside of time and space. It can be experienced in all dimensions
and through it we catch a glimpse of the deity itself, whether the mandala
is personal or collective. Carl Jung, the eminent psychologist and remarkable
mandala painter, rediscovered and introduced the mandala to the West.
He felt that the most powerful religious form within the mandala was
the circle. He found that the circle was one of the great primordial
images of mankind, and in consideration of the circle we are analyzing
the self. Also, Jung felt the personal mandala symbolizes various levels
of awareness within an individual as well as the energies that can unify
and heal. So great was his faith in the healing power of mandalas that
he employed them frequently as a therapy technique. On mandala symbolism,
Jung writes, "There is no linear evolution; there is only circumambulation
of self. Uniform development exists, at most, only at the beginning;
later, everything points toward the center. This insight gave me stability,
and gradually my inner peace returned. I knew that in finding the mandala
as an expression of the self was for me the ultimate. Perhaps someone
else know more, but not I". I understand now through the long body
that during this life-changing workshop, the mandala came through me
rather than being painted by me. At the conclusion of the workshop,
I revealed the mandala painting to the group, and I remember after a
long period of silence, Brugh asked to purchase the painting. This conference
forever changed my life and initiated me into a quickening awareness
of my destiny path. For a time I voraciously read everything I could
find on the mandala.
Reading Dr. Beverly Sheiffer's master's thesis, entitled "Mandalas
and Icons" proved to be a significant event on my path. At the
end of the book was her phone number, which I called. I was granted
a meeting with her. Her home was beautiful, a feminine temple. There
were art treasures on every wall. After our talk, she accepted me as
a student.
Here, I came to know the mandala as a psychic map and a symbol of wholeness
that can center us through difficult times. Indeed, Dr. Sheiffer at
that time was dealing with the loss of her husband and her son. The
mandala was essential in her process of healing. After about three months,
I knew our work together was finished, and I asked her if it would be
permissible to create mandalas using these techniques. She though about
it for a moment, then stated, "You're the only one that has taken
this kind of an interest in my work. I'm gifting you with this process".
After thanking her, I soon began to fully enter and explore the mandala.
My second, third, and fourth paintings all sold immediately. I realized
that I enjoyed and was energized by painting mandalas. Little did I
know that four years later the mandala and the great mysteries it contains
would become my life's work. This whole form of soul destiny was validated
when I discovered one of my drawings from childhood. I found a powerful
mandala that I had created when I was about seven. Within this drawing
were all of the mysteries that I was now exploring nearly thirty years
later. One begins to know his or her own soul and opens to the capacity
of intuitive knowing through the long body, the mystery of one's own
unfolding. It is an awesome journey and truly the essence of all of
our paths into the spiritual dimensions. Art is the visual entrance
into the mystery of creation. Once the inner eyes of the soul are opened,
then you have access to experience of this mystery. You can walk into
a museum and see the living presence of immortality as presented by
the great artists. To our souls, all of their paintings are fully alive,
charged with energy. They are visual expressions of the painter's soul,
our soul, and the mystery and essence of life. This is why art is so
valuable. It is the mystery revealed. This is the reason we build museums
housing the works of great artists. When you stand in front of a great
painting, you have an opportunity to feel the radiance of the soul of
the artist and his or her connection to the eternal currents of creativity.
To the soul, there is no comprehension of time and space. Paintings
are in the eternal now; they are alive. The discovery of this mystery
was the end of my twenty-seven year career in the surfing and clothing
industry, and the beginning of seeing life through the eyes of the soul.
Not long into this process, people began to feel and respond to my paintings
in a much deeper way. They began to ask for specific commissions; for
instance, mandalas for meditation rooms, altars, or for astrology or
therapy practices. I returned to Brugh Joy and showed him several of
these commissioned paintings. He suggested that at a very deep level
I was tapping into the client's personal mandala. My response was, „What's
a personal mandala?" He laughed and said, "One day you'll
know". His teaching and my own realizations of this mystery in
mid 1991 have carried me into my present path of creative development.
The mandala, whether it be personal or collective, is a magnificent
teacher. It is truly the doorway, or portal, into the well of the soul.
It is an "eye". into one's unconscious, revealing the language
of the soul. Once you intuitively understand this visual dynamism, then
you enter the eternal mystery of the divine, and you have the divine
gift of feeling and seeing the mystery. This has long been understood
by various cultures around the world, but it is only reappearing here
in the West dues to the great changes in our culture today. As I have
studied the wisdom of the mandala, it has taken me into many aspects
of the mystery of my own soul. One of these is teaching around the country
and the world these past years sharing the wisdom of the mandala. I
call my teaching "Art as a Spiritual Path". For me this is
the sharing of the deep colors of love. In lectures or workshops, we
begin to work with mandala symbolism. When you stare at the center of
the mandala, which is called tresspasso in the Eastern traditions, you
begin to see with your peripheral vision. Immediately you see, maybe
for the very first time, the patterns and movements in Nature. As you
are staring at the center, the painting comes to life. You see breathing,
movement, spirals, colors expanding, wheels turning, and a glimpse of
the cosmic mysteries. The beauty of this technique is that after a while
you can move your eyes and see the dance of the cosmic patterns throughout
Nature, which can also be seen in holographic posters. Taken a step
further, this visual dynamism can be applied to all seeing in manifest
reality. This is a great entry or path of induction into the language
of the soul. From the very thrilling moment you first see the mystery,
much of what you thought was real begins to collapse or fade away and
a whole new level of reality opens up, the drawing of the veil of "Maya".
You walk through space and see a profound dance of patterns, color,
movement, and the connectedness of the universe. At this point there
is no more boredom in life; any walk can be a journey into the mystery
of the universe. When the eyes of the souls have opened, you can see
what the great artists, poets, and composers have been moved by. This
reality is the very essence of their souls.
Seeing another human being as a soul with these eyes fills you with
profound compassion. You will witness in front of your very eyes the
deity itself. It is an awesome experience, and one that has powerfully
affected my work as a painter, my relationships, my workshops, and my
life. This soul seeing, and sharing the soul's language is the dedication
of my life and my painting. The soul sees, feels, and hears only the
present. It knows no past or future. It looks into and through Nature,
and reveals its range of sensitivities through deep feeling. Its center
is the heart and the heart chakra. When viewing life through the eyes
of the heart, you look into a wilderness of experiences that are hidden
from everyday awareness. There comes an intuitive knowing that you are
no longer reading about life or the spiritual journey; you are the mystery.
As you move, the whole universe moves with you. This is the place of
oneness with life, with Nature, and with the eternal dance of the divine.
The soul and its vitality, is the entrance into the mystery of existence.
Art is a direct form of truth and it visually reveals this mystery.
While much of the world is into television, inside our very home is
the greatest mystery of life in living, vibrant, dancing and cosmic
color.
Another aspect about the mandala is that it looks into the wholeness
of life. This means what you see and know, and what you can't see or
know with the outer awareness. When this is applied to people, you begin
to see the patterns of the unconscious. In the unconscious, we enter
the mystery of the dark side, or parts about ourselves that we haven't
either known about or integrated. I mention this because it is of great
value to uncover the mysteries of the shadow side of the unconscious.
I hasten to add here that much of my own journey has been one of falling
into the dark side and having to survive very difficult circumstances
in order to have an understanding of the powerful focus contained in
this part of our psyche. Personally, I have had three great descents,
of which two have been painted in mandala form. Once is called "Descent
into Fire", the other "The breath of Fire the Feminine Crucifixion".
These experiences were incredibly painful at that time, but I have come
to fully trust and respect the workings of our own unconscious or soul.
My experience of life is that it is such a profound mystery, and that
life itself as an expression of our soul is fully in charge of who we
are at the core level. When you begin to recognized this, you can't
help but pray, for through prayer and grace we are given this gift of
life. Life i the greatest gift you can have in this universe. Life has
called us all into existence, and it is life we shall serve. When you
know this, you listen to the call of service and you transform to a
place where you can make your soul's contribution. You also realize
that in the second half of life there is no greater joy than making
a form of contribution of whatever you are called to contribute. Your
responsibility is simply to be fully present in who you are, the rest
will happen by grace. The more you are radiant in yourself, the more
other around you will radiate in themselves. This is the mystery of
induction and why we all seek out teachers and gurus to further facilitate
our journeys. The mandala symbolically integrates the dark side in a
safe, balanced, and deep way.
You do have to balance the deeper forces, but the mandala give the psyche
a valuable symbol of wholeness. According to Jung, the mandala is the
ultimate symbol of well-being and wholeness. In my teaching, I have
come to know that we are all right! In other words, the soul has organized
our unfolding in such a way that when you realize who you are and what
you are, that you immediately drop and kiss the Earth. You look back
through the long body of your life and you would not change one second.
You would pick the same parents in an instant, and you become eternally
grateful for all your teachers, both of the light and of the dark. I
know how painful this may be, but the teachers of the dark are quintessential
to the process of the soul's journey.
The universe is a "cosmos" in the original Greek sense, an
ordered, purposeful whole. To see beyond the manifest is to grasp the
pattern. All of reality has a pattern, and the patterns are ours to
understand if we have the courage and insight to open up and look. All
we seek - peace, love, health, and happiness, and in sum all that is
real - can be ours through this understanding. The chief blessing of
my life is that these patterns have become to be expressed through me
in the form of the mandala. My life's journey has come clear to me through
this ancient symbol, and through it I have been able to show others
their paths. This too is a great blessing. In my exploration, the mandala
is the doorway into the language of the soul. As you learn this language,
you gain access to the eternal wisdom and mystery of the soul. Your
life will be altered, expanded, graced, and deepened forever! Blessings
and namaste.
6 -2002
TANTRA: The Magazine
|
